I picked a big one today, but it was also just begging to be addressed.
I was sitting in adoration today, and finally reading the book Fr. Tom McGann suggested I read in July. I've actually read the novel, "the Shack" by William P. Young before. But after the spring semester that I had had, Fr. Tom believed it would help.
I was supposed to wait until I was ready though. All semester, I've been waiting to for the feeling that I was ready to read this book, that it was finally time for me to find the message I had missed before.
"All love and relationship is possible for you only because it already exists within me, within God myself. Love is not the limitation; love is the flying. I am love."
It's that simple.
We all look for that big mystery. We cling to our fundamentals, that we will never understand God, that the Trinity is something we as humans cannot comprehend, and that before there was anything else, there was God.
And all of this is true; God is something more vast than we can every truly understand. No more than we can fully comprehend the idea of how infinitely large our universe is, can we comprehend God. What we must know though, is that when we reach the end of our rope, when we cannot possibly understand why things are the way they are; God is love.
He is not He. She is not She. It is not the "big man upstairs" nor is It that young Hebrew man we see depicted on a crucifix. God is all of this, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Our Father, Our Creator, and most importantly, Our Lover.
God is love.
Fr. Tom was reminding me that while I can hold myself accountable for all the wrong I have done, while I can be angry and confused by what I have been through, God is love. I am loved.
We are loved, by a love so great and powerful we cannot even begin to understand what this love is like. By a love that wants the best for all of us, that is always waiting for us to take one step closer to It, to Love.
Totus tuus,
LeAnn
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