But when we compare past to present, we truly live in an optimistic world. In the world of the Middle Ages, to quote my professor, "it's always winter". With a short life expectancy, and an even smaller chance for survival, who can blame them for pessimistic world views. Even in our early years of America, we lived in a time where all people had to look forward to was the end. Life was hard, and the end was something to highly anticipate. After all, if all you had to dream about was a perfect home with the perfect Lord, why would you be optimistic about your day-to-day living?
I live in an optimistic world, which again seems to be fighting words. I am not an outwardly optimistic person. I do not dream of rainbows, nor do I have an undying faith in humanity. My optimism is internal, and a matter of personal faith.
Last week, I had a bit of free time, so like a good college student I called my mother. We discussed how classes were going, my lack of free time, her students, family, and my need of a job. I admitted to being very concerned about my employment status, I knew I needed a job, but in a small college town, where was I to find one? And on top of that, with twenty-three hours worth of classes and a junior barrier at the end of the semester, how would I accomplish anything with a twenty to thirty hour job?
My mom thought for a moment, and then reminded me that this isn't in my control, "LeAnn," she told me, "let go, and let God." If there was a quote I would ever attribute to my mother, it would be that. She reminded me of the Bible passage discussing how God cares for even the birds, so why then, should we even worry? Aren't we more important than birds?
Well of course we are and that is my source of optimism. Even though things may not go my way, they are going Someone's way. Therefore, I live optimistically. I cling to the idea that if I live in a Loving manner, God will be there for me. That if I give of myself, and let God work, things will turn out exactly the way they are supposed.
I still don't have a job, but I have ways to make things work until I have the time and true need for something like this, I will just "hang in there". But that didn't sound to optimistic, did it?
And that is because I am human through it all. I'm incredibly nervous about this upcoming semester. I have so many things that could go wrong, and an overwhelming desire to do my absolute best at all times. And yet, I am human through it all, and I accept that while moving forward with as little fear and pessimism as possible.
I am internally optimistic, I believe that things will eventually work out, that things happen for reasons often unknown at the time. I believe in the greater good, and the bigger idea, and that makes me optimistic.
Totus thus,
LeAnn
