The Paper Posts

A traditional gift celebrating a fiftieth wedding anniversary is gold, which is why a fiftieth is a called a golden year or golden anniversary. Similarly, the first year of marriage's gift is paper, thus "The Paper Posts" will be very marriage (and God) focused over the next year! 

When I'm feeling frustrated with a particular part of my life that I can't control, such as rental-house-hunting, for example, I like to rearrange my furniture. To date, I have rearranged the bedroom six times since moving into the apartment last August. I haven't messed with the living area though, until last night. Heedless of how Josh may feel about it, I practically turned the apartment on its head and then let him just come home to it. He wasn't a fan.

But instead of nay-saying or asking it to be put back, we worked together to come up with a layout we both liked. And I know that Josh would have probably preferred the apartment the way it was, but he understood that I needed this relatively small change in scenery. Throughout all of it, he was actively asking my opinion on the recliner or the desk, making sure that we achieved everything I had set out to do. That was more touching to me than anything else.

He could have been angry with me for rearranging without his permission. I could have taken it personally that he didn't like what I had spent an hour and half arranging carefully. Jesus reminds us in today's Gospel that whoever is angry with his brother will be liable for judgment.(MT 5:20-26). That we have to make the effort to reconcile with those around us before trying to make peace with God. There are times for righteous anger, but furniture is not one of them. It isn't something that belongs between spouses or between children and their God. As a married couple, a literal reflection of God's love, I feel this overwhelming need to make our fights count. To choose them carefully, with intent, so that the disagreement will better us as a couple, rather than cause us to lash out and stay angry, separating both of us from God.

Tota tua.

Still Blogging

Almost a year ago, I decided I was done with this whole blogging thing. Someone had commented and tore apart what I had written, something that I had really believed in. I was mad and done. And (obviously) I got over it because there's more to life than how people respond to what you believe in. There's more to life than what social media has to say about you. And there's more to life than what those around you think of you. At some point, you have to decide who and what truly matters.

And what matters to me is that I love my family. I am beyond amazed by the love and marriage I have just entered. And God, who gave me all of this, matters. Matters more than the perception of my peers, more than the perception of my friends. My life, my family, my marriage, none of it would be possible without God. Which is why Timothy's letter rings so true to me today.

Remind people of these things
and charge them before God to stop disputing about words.
This serves no useful purpose since it harms those who listen.
Be eager to present yourself as acceptable to God,
a workman who causes no disgrace,
imparting the word of truth without deviation. (2 TM 2: 8-15)

I'm not perfect. My words are not perfect and that's not what matters. What matters is when we present ourselves before our God, we have no shame, no disgrace. We imparted the Words of Truth to the best of our ability, and did our best to share the Love we have for our God without any deviation. And that's what matters. That we did our best to share what we truly believe, irregardless of how others react. And as Timothy reminds us earlier in his letter, we were not made to be timid.

Tota tua.

Our Wedding Day

We've now been married all of two days. And right now, curled in our honeymoon suite, I am overwhelmed by the love and support we have been shown. I keep crying over the simplest things. Which is so unlike me; as my friends put it, "I've never seen you cry!" On Saturday night, I thought it was because I was tired. Yesterday. I thought it was because I was still overwhelmed. But today, I realized that it's because I am just that perfectly, incandescently happy.

I'm sure we will be sharing stories about our wedding for months to come, but my favorite will be about my in-laws. Only one thing went wrong on Saturday, our hotel realized they were double-booked and couldn't accommodate us while we were at the reception. I shrugged it off, we would find a place to sleep for the night. I wasn't worried and I had no reason to be. My sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and his fiancé were on it, with a little help from my dad, we had a room within the hour. 

I was raised in an amazing, giving family. A family that I know is a rarity, not everyone has aunts and uncles who attend middle school basketball games for you or brings your flowers at grade school dance recitals. But somehow, God gave me another family that is equally incredible and that dropped everything so that Josh and I had a beautiful place to spend our mini-honeymoon at. 

I didn't particularly want to change my name. I like the name and I love being a Verhoff. But as the engagement led into our wedding, and as the wedding led into the reception, I felt more at peace with the name change. I couldn't be happier to be a Wood and belong to such wonderful families. As Megan put it, "I fell asleep covered in glitter and beer," (we had a great reception), "and woke up with a wonderful sister-in-law." And so did I. Two actually. And two amazing brothers, and parents who will always be there for my husband and I. 

Tota tua. 

LeAnn Wood (!!) 

Love Letters

For those who have yet to get married in the Catholic Church, consider this your warning, pre-cana classes are no joke. And if you're taking them online, it can be a bit of struggle to convince your fiance to sit down and do them with you on such a nice Monday evening.

This is round two of the pre-cana worksheets for Josh and I, all joking aside, these are some heavy things. My poor Baptist-raised fiance is being asked what the sacraments are, what symbols represent them, and what grace the sacraments give us. And so we sit there and work our way through this dense material, a lot of which is unfamiliar territory for him.

But the most valuable part of these lessons is not the actual material we are learning, although it is valuable information. It's the teamwork, the discussion, and it is the love letters. At the end of each worksheet, we're supposed to write one another a love letter, and Josh sighs and mutters about how he's not the best at writing things down. But he does it anyways, leaving me this tangible piece of his love, showing me that he will provide the love I need, even if it isn't in the way he would like to provide it.

We all love a little bit differently, and the value of understanding that we each love a little differently helps us to better understand how God loves us all, all the time. All of those different love languages, all of those different gestures, they are all rooted in the original Love, the all-consuming Love.What grace does the sacrament of marriage give us? An opportunity to better understand God's Love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7

Tota Tua,

LeAnn

2016 Spiritual Goal

January seems to be a time of an almost automatic, subconscious introspection. As Christians, this time of reflection gives us a chance to look inside and see what we can do better to draw ourselves closer to God. In the past, I have used this as a chance to start a new prayer style or add a new routine to my prayer life. Most times, these routines have stuck, such as journaling in the mornings, using devotionals, and adding the Rosary to my nightly prayers. But this year, I tried to take my reflections further, and look for something more personal that I could focus on, develop, or give up staring 2016. But it wasn't until yesterday that I settled on a spiritual goal for this year.

When Josh and I spend the weekend at his parents' home, we do our best to "double dip" and attend both a Catholic mass for me, and then a Sunday service at the Baptist church his family attends and mother works and leads worship at. The pastor was discussing January and the new year's tendency to seek ways for us to improve, and read from Ecclesiastics, and from there he listed some of the signs of leading a spiritual life, including patience, kindness, and gentleness.

And it was gentleness that stuck out to me, which before had sounded like a sign of weakness, suddenly being listed as a virtue. I was reminded of Mary, our Lady, and how we call her a "gentle woman, quiet dove", and the message my family heard on Friday celebrating the solemnity of Mary, and what made her so worthy of our veneration.

I would not consider myself a gentle person. I often speak sharply, I rarely soften my message. I would not describe myself as overly warm or nurturing. I joke about not wanting children. But in reality, I am sensitive and hyper-aware of what people do and say around me. I watch children at family gatherings or at camp carefully, keeping an eye out for trouble or concern. So then why do I present myself so firmly? Why do I assume these qualities are weakness and should be hidden?

But now, that word, that idea of being gentle eases my anxieties about appearing so firm and tough.  So this year, this particular leg of my spiritual journey's goal is to draw closer to our Blessed Mother, and find my own gentleness, and maybe by July the campers and staff are less intimidated by me this year!

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Post-Wedding Excitement!!

For those who read on Thursday, you know I had a wedding this weekend- if you haven't go read it quickly, this is kind of a chapter two on that post. 

Chelsea and Matt's wedding was beautiful, for those interested, I will post some pictures at the bottom to show off the decor, venue, and stuff. But for those who aren't interested in twinkling lights and wedding dresses, let's talk about marriage. 

The wedding was not Catholic, but that did not obstruct the value in the ceremony. The pastor did a wonderful job "charging" the couple to live a loving, Christian marriage. The couple chose three passages for the ceremony, but one in particular really stuck with me. 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Oftentimes, marriage is portrayed as a love story which concludes with "happily ever after", and I don't think that is what God intended marriage. The quote above seems to really provide a good image of what marriage should be; teamwork. I mentioned it last week, but marriage is not going to be 50/50. During the ceremony, it was pointed that where one is weak, the other would be strong. Couple will find themselves filling in the gaps for one another. 

Josh is a really laid back guy. He's easy-going, quick to forgive and forget, and has a huge heart. I'm a little more tightly wound, it takes me an hour or two to cool off. Between the two of us, he mellows me out and I tighten him up. The two of us together are a well-adjusted, happy medium. Two are better than one. 

The wedding this weekend has just made me even more excited for my own and the rest of the upcoming weddings this year.

Tota tua, 

LeAnn 

The bride and I 

First Dance

Barn loft for the ceremony

Josh and I at the reception

Weddings Poppin' Up

Chelsea and I at her bachelorette
party this summer 

This Saturday, one of my best friends from high school, Chelsea,  is getting married to her camp crush and high school sweetheart after dating for over eight years. On Friday, a college friend, Tisha, whose wedding I really wish I could make it to, is getting married after lengthy engagement. So it is no wonder I've been thinking about my own wedding and marriage coming up in May.

I've had comments on both sides of the spectrum about my engagement, and I'm sure both of friends have as well. Everything from, "that's so exciting!" to "you're too young..." to "Why?".

Darn right it's exciting! I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with my best friend.

Too young? I mean, compared to what? a 15 year-old child bride in India? a 35+ divorcee? I think that's my decision, not yours.

Why? This one is my favorite. Why? Because Josh is awesome, that's why. And because we are awesome together, in a Cyclops and Jean Grey, kickin' butt and takin' names kind of way.

But marriage is something that you shouldn't take lightly. I love seeing posts about married life, and how wonderful and exciting and hard it can be. I think our society has polarized marriage to some degree. It's either this perfect relationship that lasts forever or it is a disaster in the making, and from what I understand about marriage, it is neither.

What I know about marriage (as an outsider getting ready for it):

• Marriage is not an answer to problems, if anything it will magnify what you were already struggling with as a couple 
• Marriage requires work, you can't just expect it to float along the river on its own 
• Carrying that metaphor further, it is not a 50/50 split, sometimes you are going to have to paddle harder than your partner and vice versa
• Marriage is about family and being willing to raise one
• Marriage can be a lot of fun 
• You get to live with your best friend
• Marriage requires a third party - God 

So let's review, marriage is not easy but it is worth the work. Marriage is what you make it, and marriage requires God, which means prayer! You need to pray to God with your spouse and for your spouse, but marriage is not just a legal contract between two parties, it is an agreement to help bring your partner closer to God, and how can you do that without water in your well? You have to keep praying to be able to even provide for your spouse. 

I remember when Chelsea and Matt started dating, and I remember watching them grow up. But as college rolled around, obviously I stopped seeing Chelsea as much. We were reunited at camp two years ago for some really in-depth friendship time, something we had not had in a while, and I was blown away by how at peace she was. Chels was never the frazzled sort, but this Chelsea had grown up and changed a lot, and I think a part of this was because of the church she and Matt and started to attend together. Not the church necessarily, or the pastor, but the community and sharing it with her then boyfriend. 

Now, I'm no marriage expert, but I think there is something to be said about the couple that prays together.

Tota Tua, 

LeAnn

Vocations: Part Two

Let's Add The Church

In my last post, I talked about vocations in terms of careers, the job that will make you happy as opposed to wealthy.  But there's more to vocations than what we are going to be when we grow up.  As someone who was raised Catholic, I was raised knowing I would be one of three things:

1.) Married

This would mean I was married and raising my family in the Church

2.) Single 

Living my life for God and the Church; a family is still possible, just unconventional 

3.) Religious 

A sister or nun.  My life would dedicated to the order I belonged to, and as always, God.  

When I taught at Camp Re-NEW-All this summer, our Wednesday's theme for Reform classes was "Service".  During the time I had with the kids, we would discuss the different types of vocations.  Almost every kid in the room would proudly tell me that they had at least thought about being married.  Yes, even my fifth graders had "thought about it".  But when I asked them the next question, I received very few affirmative answers.  

Have you prayed about it?

A fifth, sixth, or even ninth grader will be able to tell you that they've thought about getting married.  Some of the young ladies have even started planning that big day in their heads.  But how many of them have prayed about it? Asking God if it was in His plan for them to get married?  How many of those young men had thought about, let alone prayed about the type of plan God has in store for them?  I can tell you now, very few.  

Let's take it one step further; how many of those kids have prayed about God's plan for them and actually listened for an answer?  Considered that it may not be what they think it's going to be.  We can't all get married, some of us will be priests, sisters, and singles.  

Our society has stamped the idea of being single with a social taboo.  Between Disney movies, Barbie and Ken dolls, and even Star Wars, our protagonists tend to end up as "dynamic duos" that conquer the world together.  We need to tear down this concept; being single in not a flaw.  

God made us all perfect the way we are right now.  Man and woman were created to be perfect companions, but at the same time, He did not make us lacking of anything we need to achieve what He desires for us.  

Whether God's plan for you includes a spouse, a cat, or a parish, He wants to help you reach it.  

He can only do that though if you let Him in.  Pray about it.  Turn down your music, put your phone screen down on your desk, and ask Him what He wants for you, and then listen.  It just takes a minute or two, so why don't you try it now?

Our Lady of Lourdes in Pittsburg, KS 

Totus tuus, 

LeAnn