Whatever is...

With the church camp season almost upon us, lists are floating all over my small apartment. Lists of things to pack, purchase, leave behind, goals, and whatever else I can think of in preparation. There is so much that doesn't belong at camp, so what I allow myself to bring can be tricky. Not just longer shorts and extra deodorant, but there are spiritual things that have to come along to.

What am I bringing to camp this year? My prayer journal, my Bible, my Rosary. But more importantly, I am bring my favorite verse to meditate on as the weeks go by. My focus over the next fives will be a verse from Philippians that caught my attention at the end of the camp season last summer. I've carried it quietly in my head ever since then, but I have yet to truly put it into practice.

Last year's camp season was not an easy one. There were physical challenges (tornado, flood, heat, etc.) but there were more difficult emotional challenges. There was a grudge or two, some loneliness, and a fixation on the negative rather than the positives of camp.

Which is where Philippians 4:8 comes in. The goal over the next five weeks is to focus on the good, but more than just the good. The true, the noble, right, pure, lovely... You get the picture. I want to see those things. The excellent, praise-worthy pieces of camp and I want to keep them close as the weeks go by.

But more than that, I want this attitude to extend beyond camp. Somewhere along the way, camp became a sort of spiritual restart button for me. It's that time of year where I really check in and try to understand where I am at in my faith and how I can do better.


Tota tua.

Sharing the Joy

A while back, I mentioned how evangelizing is one of the things that I really am bad at outside of writing this blog. I feel uncomfortable putting my beliefs out there, as if everyone needs to believe what I believe. I get frustrated when others do it to me, when they catch me off-guard in my home or at school wanting to talk. And I need to just get over it, because this is something I have been called to do as a child of God. I am supposed to tell people about wonderful God is, how good God is, and how blessed we all are to have such a loving God.

While providing a reference for someone last evening, I was overcome by the interviewer's very casual conversation about God. Sure, he knew that I ran a church camp, making me fair game for any kind of religious conversation, but his faith and testimony to it was as tangible as seeing him leading worship in a church-setting. This man was evangelizing in a way I wish I could, so naturally that it was just part of our conversations about his potential employee, our camps, and how he is a full-time camp director (jealous!!).

In the book of Acts, we see the joy that can come from evangelizing, as the Apostles are brought before the Sanhedrin despite warnings that they needed to stop teaching about Christ in Jerusalem. And instead of stopping or going elsewhere, the Apostles rejoiced that they were worthy of enough to be suffer in their Lord's name. (Acts 5 27:32) Can you imagine rejoicing because you've been arrested for talking about God? Probably not.

I think the more important thing here is how much they wanted to share about God and God's Son. That this was something they truly wanted to do, and did. Regardless of how people felt about it, or how they felt about it, they were answering God's call to share with their peers, to evangelize despite what they had been told by others in positions of power. And this doesn't have to be aggressive or rude, it can be as simple as a phone conversation mid-interview.

God is good all the time, but how would people know if we don't share that with them? This isn't about being #blessed on Instagram or Facebook. It's about authentic conversations that give God credit when God moves in your life, like finding you a job that allows you to law and camp this summer. Or that as the wedding draws closer, more and more offers to help keep coming up, just in time to save you frustration and struggle. And we should share that in our day-top-day lives.

Tota tua.

2016 Spiritual Goal

January seems to be a time of an almost automatic, subconscious introspection. As Christians, this time of reflection gives us a chance to look inside and see what we can do better to draw ourselves closer to God. In the past, I have used this as a chance to start a new prayer style or add a new routine to my prayer life. Most times, these routines have stuck, such as journaling in the mornings, using devotionals, and adding the Rosary to my nightly prayers. But this year, I tried to take my reflections further, and look for something more personal that I could focus on, develop, or give up staring 2016. But it wasn't until yesterday that I settled on a spiritual goal for this year.

When Josh and I spend the weekend at his parents' home, we do our best to "double dip" and attend both a Catholic mass for me, and then a Sunday service at the Baptist church his family attends and mother works and leads worship at. The pastor was discussing January and the new year's tendency to seek ways for us to improve, and read from Ecclesiastics, and from there he listed some of the signs of leading a spiritual life, including patience, kindness, and gentleness.

And it was gentleness that stuck out to me, which before had sounded like a sign of weakness, suddenly being listed as a virtue. I was reminded of Mary, our Lady, and how we call her a "gentle woman, quiet dove", and the message my family heard on Friday celebrating the solemnity of Mary, and what made her so worthy of our veneration.

I would not consider myself a gentle person. I often speak sharply, I rarely soften my message. I would not describe myself as overly warm or nurturing. I joke about not wanting children. But in reality, I am sensitive and hyper-aware of what people do and say around me. I watch children at family gatherings or at camp carefully, keeping an eye out for trouble or concern. So then why do I present myself so firmly? Why do I assume these qualities are weakness and should be hidden?

But now, that word, that idea of being gentle eases my anxieties about appearing so firm and tough.  So this year, this particular leg of my spiritual journey's goal is to draw closer to our Blessed Mother, and find my own gentleness, and maybe by July the campers and staff are less intimidated by me this year!

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...

I'm baaaaaack!

As you can probably tell, it has been a little while since my last post. A culmination of stress (come on, it was my last semester of my undergrad!), and a bit of hypocrisy made me basically give up on this for a bit. But over the last two weeks, I've felt this overwhelming urge to write again, and Mass last night and a video by John Michael Talbot that my mother shared was the last little push I needed. Essentially, I just felt like God was reminding me that even if no one reads or appreciates this, I'm still putting my faith out there for someone who may really need it to find. There aren't enough witnesses to the Faith and the Love of God, and I shouldn't give it up just because of a few snarky people!

With that being said...it's time for a life update! These past few months have been a whirl-wind of activities. I am now attending the University of Missouri, Kansas City School of Law after graduating from Pittsburg State University this May. My longtime boyfriend, Josh, and I are now engaged to be married this upcoming May of 2016! And, to top it all off, I survived my second year as the camp director at the wonderful Camp Re-NEW-All, and learned a heck of a lot more about myself and my faith while bringing the camp one step closer to my personal goals for it.

Now, the message for the day. As I mentioned earlier, there are bigots in this world who tried (and almost successfully) tore me down and away from writing about my faith. But as Jesus reminds us, prophets are rarely welcome in their own homes. Now, I am not calling myself a prophet in the sense that Isiah or St. John the Baptist was a prophet, but I am announcing the Good News, and as Catholics we are anointed prophets at our baptism, which means we are called in our own ways to be be Lights to the World. Below is the video that gave me final spark, and although he looks like kind of a goofy guy, Mr. Talbot has a really awesome (and brief!) message each day.

https://video.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xlp1/v/t42.1790-2/11946044_10155909037590335_1193738889_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjMwMCwicmxhIjo1MTJ9&rl=300&vabr=150&oh=23bee4ec35eb9d736206c3331cd08e59&oe=55E48216 

Happy Monday everyone!

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Happy Anniversary!

Two years this past Saturday, Oct. 18th was when I started this blog. You may have noticed that link, title, and website name for the blog has changed.

That's because I have changed.

Two years, Pope Benedict XVI announced a Year of Faith, and I got to work. I was not a person I was proud of two years- my freshman year at Pitt State had been hard, and I need to do better. My grades weren't the best, my faith was not as strong as it had been in the past, and I knew I could do better.

Then why start a blog if I wasn't the best Catholic I could be?

Because I needed something to help hold myself accountable, and because I loved writing.

A blog seemed to fit all of those things- it gave me something to do, to work towards, and to aspire to fulfill. The blog also pushed me to learn more about the faith I claimed. It pushed me to constantly look for the Light in everything around me, and add a dash of Catholicism to everything I did.

Two years later, I feel like an adult in my faith. I feel more confident in my abilities to lead and guide, as a secular female who works with youth in her diocese, and has her own "crew".

Safe to say, I feel good about myself and my ability to lead. I've gone from unconfident, isolated, and disappointed to confident, successful, and loved. So, to culminate these past two years, here are the top five things that have happened to me and this blog!

1. Hands down, getting the job as the Camp Re-NEW-All Director has been the best thing to happen to me and this blog, pushing me to a new level of Christian-Catholic leadership
2. Our most popular post was the one written this summer on servant leadership, which makes sense considering it was about Camp!
3. The third most exciting thing could arguably be first, but because it's more broad, I put Pope Benedict's retirement and Pope Francis's arrival third. That entire event was historic for our Church and amazing to witness.
4. Friends! I've made so many amazing friends in the last two years, and maintained great, healthy friendships with others including Myka, Cearrah, and Josh.
5. Sigma Alpha Iota leadership, I have joined this amazing sisterhood and served as Secretary last year, and this year as president, pushing my leadership skills and making great connections with wonderful, talented young women who all share my interest in music and community!

Alright, I'm done bragging! Be sure to note that the website name has changed, and share this with all your friends, let's beat "Servant Leaderships" 230 page views record in the weeks to come.

Thank you to all who read and support me, and as always,

Totus tuus,

LeAnn 

Announcements, Announcements...

ANNOUNCEMENTS!!

I do have another one, and it's a big one!

My big plans for Camp Re-NEW-All are coming together wonderfully, and I just have to brag!

We are having a Staff Service Day in December, working with Catholic Charities in the Springfield MO area. The day will be spent in service to others, while still getting to spend time with the staff peers. There are so many reasons why I want to do this, but here are my top three:

1. Servant Leaders
1. This is a whole new opportunity for my staff to learn all about being good servant leaders in the community
2. Team Building
1. Another opportunity for the staff to get to know each other, work together, and have fun while still doing something for someone else
3. A Dash of Catholic
1. One of my goals for this entire year of my life and Camp is to add a dash of Catholic Christians in everything I say and do, which means everything I'm in charge of

You have to admit- that looks so good on paper! Now, what does this mean for my staffers reading this? Keep your eyes open for applications that will be coming out, information in parish bulletins and the Mirror (our Diocesan newspaper). 

How's that for keeping busy?

Speaking of busy...it's Homecoming week, the start of the midterm weeks, and my to-do list (which is now LSAT free!!) is still so so long. But I love it.

So, what do you all think of my big big plans??

Totus Tuus, 

LeAnn 

Free-range camp director

Well, I did it. Not without some difficulties here and there, but I did it- I ran all five weeks of Camp Re-NEW-All with very problems. And my oh my, was it a learning experience for everyone involved. There are so many life lessons found in those five weeks, about being a leader, a good person, and a mom to roughly 90 people each week.

Things I learned:

1.) Not everyone gets my sense of humor - I should probably come with a warning label

2.) Positive reinforcement works wonders

3.) I am the bad cop, and the good cop. It's difficult sometimes to be both.

4.) Allowing the group to see my failings, as well as my successes creates a more open, warm environment.

5.) Don't be afraid to make changes - if I do it with confidence, everyone will follow suit because I'm the leader

Things I wished I knew:



1.) The best cure for homesickness is creating a family

2.) It can be lonely

3.) There is no better feeling than being called "Mom" and hearing 90 kids say "yes ma'am"

4.) I would fall in love with every single one of those kids

The most important thing that I learned, and that I wish I knew was garnered from Fr. Tom McGann, who was our Camp priest at 2C and came for confessions as much as possible. "Every time you look at the campers," he said, "see the face of God. Serve them as if they were Jesus. Because they are, we all have Him inside of us."



That piece of advice was all I needed to survive 3C, hump week, and my personally hardest week of the summer, and to make the final two such a success.

Camp is over until next July, and I'm no longer tied to the camp ground, I'm free-range, as my staff would say, and I'm so happy to be, but I'll also admit that I teared up a bit this past Friday, leaving my camp behind, and moving on from it, until next year.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

Servant Leaders

When I was asked to take over Camp Re-NEW-All, I knew that the Bishop and Troy (my two bosses) wanted camp to head in a new direction. The only guidance they gave me on this matter was that the camp needed to return to being more camper, and less staff focused.

At first, I wasn't sure how to approach this challenge. More campers were a must, less staff as well, but still maintaining a safe camper-staff ratio. But other than that, what could I do to change the physical attitude of my staff. Many of them came for great reasons, to rebuild their faith, reunite with their fellow Catholics, but nowhere in there was the campers.

Servant leaders.

That's what we needed to make this camp what it is supposed to be. We needed staff that were there 100% for the campers- that wanted to make this week the best week ever for the campers. And that's what I called them to do. Self-giving, selfless teenagers can be hard to find at times, but somehow in the past two weeks I have met over seventy of them scattered across my camp ground. They came in expecting their normal camp experience, and instead were told to give up themselves for a week, and focus on children they had never met before.

I have had adult staff who have been coming for camp for years mention their happiness over the fact that camp is returning to it's roots, that we are beginning to yet again, focus on who makes the camp worthwhile- our campers.

I can tell you that in the next couple years, Camp Re-NEW-All is going to produce some amazing leaders, who have been taught not to boss or to command, but to serve, to wash the feet of the groups they are in charge of. I think Pope Francis I would be proud of this small niche in the world, creating young Catholic leaders, that will someday be the Church leaders we need, and creating a safe haven for the children.

Pray for a third successful week at camp, and until next week-

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

Introverts and Extroverts

It's an interesting concept, dividing the human race into two distinct groups; extroverts and introverts but its something I find fascinating.

The first thing that needs to cleared up is what exactly an introvert or extrovert is. Introverts are those who feed off their alone time, need time to recharge their batteries on their own. Extroverts on the other hand, find their energy in groups of people. 

So a more earthy example would be a comparison of two people.  My boyfriend, Josh loves to be with his group of friends. He gets excited around the group, and seems energized after leaving the group event. I, however, need a few minutes to breathe after being around the exact same group of people. Read a bit, cuddle my cat, take walk by myself or with someone. I need that quiet bit to relax and let be, and then I'm ready to go again. 

Now wait, what could this possibly do with religion? Or my relationship with God? Or church, or Catholicism or anything else that I normally look for on this blog?

What recharges your soul? Do you need quiet prayer, in the form of meditation or perhaps adoration? Maybe your recharge is found in a more exciting place, like a church camp or rally? Is it that large group of people, all on that same religious page?  What fire fuels your soul, the quiet or the masses?

Whether it's quiet or loud, big or small, or even both, it's important to know what pulls you in closer. The Mass is great, it's full of God and community, and always has something new. But it also contains a lot of the old; there is nothing wrong with tradition but at times we need something different to pull is back into our Lord. 

We are hitting that point in the semester when things get crazy, one of the first things to slip is our prayer life. We lose that "git r done" attitude we started with a month and half ago, and finding motivation can be hard once you're in neck-deep. It helps to know how we tick when trying to find how to help ourselves along. Give it minute, think about what motivates you, and proceed from there. Don't let your prayer life slip just because you are feeling overwhelmed, join a bible study, sign up for adoration or whatever it takes to keep yourself going. 

It's only six weeks in, don't let yourself slip. Keep your prayer life up! 

Totus tuus, 

LeAnn 

God Is good...

...All the time! All the time, God is good!

All of July, I've been at Camp Re-NEW-All, working as assistant, music, and liturgy director.  There are very few people who actually do all five sessions;

• Mandy, our camp director. I've known since before camp, she's gone from being an adult I look up to to a friend and role model.
• Jose, a lay Franciscan who has spent 28 years working at this church camp
• Bobbi, the head cook. She is my favorite person to talk, one of the most entertaining women I know.
• Colby, a seminarian for our diocese. His first year at camp was last summer, and he loved it so much he decided to come back for the entire summer this year. 

Colby loved one of Jose's phrases from last summer; Jose would call out "God is good" and the campers would respond, "All the time", then Jose would say "All the time", and the campers would reply "God is good!", believe me, Colby has yelled that so much over the last four weeks that it has really stuck with me. Thank you Colby.

I love that phrase.  It relates perfectly to the biggest message I tried this last week at camp; to praise God through everything.  When times are the hardest, when you can barely stand to roll out of bed in the morning, that's when you should be on your knees thanking God for this amazing next opportunity to be incredible.  If things were always good, if they were always easy, we wouldn't need God.  It's when times are the hardest that we have to try and find the good things in life and praise God for them, because without Him there would be nothing, and believe, God is truly good all the time, even when you think He isn't.

So, this week whenever you get a speeding ticket, or have a nasty fight with your parents, remember, even now, God is being good, you just have to take the time to see how.

Send me some prayers this, it's my last week of camp and trust me, I'll need them! And of course, you'll be in mine!

Totus tuus,

LeAnn 

Vocations: Part Two

Let's Add The Church

In my last post, I talked about vocations in terms of careers, the job that will make you happy as opposed to wealthy.  But there's more to vocations than what we are going to be when we grow up.  As someone who was raised Catholic, I was raised knowing I would be one of three things:

1.) Married

This would mean I was married and raising my family in the Church

2.) Single 

Living my life for God and the Church; a family is still possible, just unconventional 

3.) Religious 

A sister or nun.  My life would dedicated to the order I belonged to, and as always, God.  

When I taught at Camp Re-NEW-All this summer, our Wednesday's theme for Reform classes was "Service".  During the time I had with the kids, we would discuss the different types of vocations.  Almost every kid in the room would proudly tell me that they had at least thought about being married.  Yes, even my fifth graders had "thought about it".  But when I asked them the next question, I received very few affirmative answers.  

Have you prayed about it?

A fifth, sixth, or even ninth grader will be able to tell you that they've thought about getting married.  Some of the young ladies have even started planning that big day in their heads.  But how many of them have prayed about it? Asking God if it was in His plan for them to get married?  How many of those young men had thought about, let alone prayed about the type of plan God has in store for them?  I can tell you now, very few.  

Let's take it one step further; how many of those kids have prayed about God's plan for them and actually listened for an answer?  Considered that it may not be what they think it's going to be.  We can't all get married, some of us will be priests, sisters, and singles.  

Our society has stamped the idea of being single with a social taboo.  Between Disney movies, Barbie and Ken dolls, and even Star Wars, our protagonists tend to end up as "dynamic duos" that conquer the world together.  We need to tear down this concept; being single in not a flaw.  

God made us all perfect the way we are right now.  Man and woman were created to be perfect companions, but at the same time, He did not make us lacking of anything we need to achieve what He desires for us.  

Whether God's plan for you includes a spouse, a cat, or a parish, He wants to help you reach it.  

He can only do that though if you let Him in.  Pray about it.  Turn down your music, put your phone screen down on your desk, and ask Him what He wants for you, and then listen.  It just takes a minute or two, so why don't you try it now?

Our Lady of Lourdes in Pittsburg, KS 

Totus tuus, 

LeAnn