Sunday Special: Happy Easter

Easter Vigil is one of the longest masses at the Catholic Church. Originally lasting all night, literally a vigil for Easter Sunday, it now ranges between three and seven readings from the Old Testament, an epistle, Gospel, baptisms, confirmations, and first communions of those joining the church. Starting outside in the dark, and ending some two and half hours later, it is no small undertaking. And it's hard to focus on.

"Consequently, you too must think of yourselves as being dead to sin and living for God in Christ Jesus"
Rom. 6:3-11

I have attended many Easter Vigil masses with my family, but there was something special about this one. And that quote from Romans really stayed with me, and I kept reading it over and over, trying to commit it to memory. And throughout the rest of the mass, as people receivered various sacraments of initiation, I felt those words close to my heart.

In baptism, we die and are born again, in our Lord's light and love, washed clean of original sin. When confirmed, we are blessed with the grace to consciously turn towards Christ each and every day. And the living bread and wine of Holy Communion sustains us like no mortal food or drink ever could, helping us through our day-to-day struggles, so that we can live in and for the Lord.

It's hard to see the joy in every day events or in sacraments we were raised into. The church I have been a part of my whole life can seem stuffy and boring at times. As I mentioned earlier this month, my prayer life seems to lack joy during its day-to-day routines. But there is joy and beauty in the simple things. We must be dead to sin and alive in Christ; we must push past the dangerous monotony that temptsus to sleep in instead of wake up and pray

The Easter season is for joy and celebration in the church, a sort of new year, an opportunity for a fresh start, resolutions, and to find joy in this littugical season, and the ordinary times to follow.

Tota tua.

. 

That Christian Privilege

"Privilege? What privilege? Religion is a minority..." I grumbled as I clicked the link to read a heavy dose of negativity. After all, Trump hadn't been in the news so I needed something to bring me down.

The article wasn't angry or accusatory, but the article was absolutely right- there is a prevalent Christian privilege in the United States. We get major holidays off, our symbols are not stigmatized, our people are not considered heretics for evangelizing on strangers' front porches. We are privileged. Mentally, I followed that up with arguments about modern-day martyrs, about how Christianity is discriminated against in other parts of the world, and then I stopped myself. We aren't talking about "other parts of the world", we are talking about right here in this country, and how people are experiencing religious discrimination because they are part of the minority. It can be hard to be a Christian today, but there are other, harder walks of faith to be on right now. Take time to pray for those who are being religiously discriminated against in the United States.

Now, this is not the time to get defensive; this is the time to consider what we can do as Christians to not take advantage of this...

1. Recognize that religious freedom is not something we are entitled to, it's something everyone deserves and needs. We each have our own faith or spiritually journey, and just because someone's is different does not make it wrong or them a "bad person". 
2. Educate yourself! Don't just assume you don't need to know about other religions, try and learn about them and their faith practices. There are some incredibly cool types of prayer and life philosophies that other religions use that could be useful to you.
3. Realize that just because someone doesn't say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Easter" does not mean people are "attacking" Christian religion. You don't wish people a joyful Diwali or Hanukkah, so don't expect everyone to give you best wishes for a holiday a person may not be participating in either. 
4. Our faith is not known for only the bad or scary parts. As Catholics, we've received some of this, between sexual abuse scandals, the Crusades, and other instances that we are less than proud of, but we also know that there is so much more to our faith than this. It's the same for others, use your empathy and be aware of this. 
5. Understand that we can check of privilege, respect other beliefs and values, and help others without losing integrity in our faith, God created us all, and loves us all. We don't all have the same path to God nor does God expect us to, so why do we? Different is not a bad thing. 

Conversations like these can be unsettling and uncomfortable, but they are no more difficult than what we hear today from the daily readings, in 1 Samuel, 18. Johnathan stands up to his father, Saul, who is seeking to kill his friend, David. Can you imagine how difficult it must have been for Johnathan to face is bloody-thirsty father and stand up for his friend? Johnathan stood up to his own flesh and blood, his own community for a essentially a stranger to his family. 

Stay warm out there friend!

Tota tua, 

LeAnn 

We are Seen

As I update my resume after one semester of law school, I pause and debate what should or should not be added. I did pass all of my classes, and although I am not a Dean's List student (3.0 or higher), I did not do poorly. But my past academic experiences weigh on me, saying that this GPA is no good, and that I should have worked harder, should have done better. The overall resume looks sparse, I have little legal experience; I keep reminding myself that I am only a 1L and this is normal, but again, it weighs on me. I feel like I've let myself, and more importantly, God down by not taking more initiative to gain experience and earn better grades.

But this morning I was reminded that God does not see us through human eyes.

And I was reminded that God really does not give a damn about resume or my cover letter. If I have been called to serve God and God's children through this, and if I put my trust in god, it will happen. That's not to say that I won't have to work, because I will, but God's got my back so to speak, and God is not judging me for such trivial human things. That ultimate goal, that truly big picture, is that whatever we do, we shall serve the Lord.

So stop berating yourself because your grades aren't quite what you wanted, your worth is not based on your As.
Stop kicking yourself because you didn't get the internship you wanted, keep trying, you'll eventually end up where you belong because tenacity truly pays off.
Don't become angry because the first job you apply for doesn't hire you, keep looking.

Ultimately, remember that your worth and value is not determined by how humanity perceives you, but how you make yourself available to God, the Son, and the Spirit. With that being said, as social creatures we crave human approval, we crave success, and we desire to be valued. And you can do all of those things, but along the way, do not forget that God is with you, loves you, and will continue to love you in a way no human can.

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Surviving Law School 101

I talked to my mom yesterday and she informed that family members have been asking about me...
Wondering if I am surviving law school, the "big city", and if law school is hard. So, I thought I would answer a few of those questions and put my grandma's mind at ease.

Am I surviving law school? 

Why, yes, I am. Don't get me wrong, there are moments where I'm scratching my head and am confused or frustrated by what is being taught but I am surviving. I've made a friend or two (or three), I have a pretty consistent schedule, and I'm not pulling my hair out with frustration.

Am I surviving the "big city"?

Yes. The only thing that really frustrates me is the traffic. "But wait!" scream the native KC-ers, "The traffic is not that bad!" Maybe not for you, but to me this is crazy. Word to the wise, if you are from a smaller town, like Monett, traffic is going to frustrate you. That it takes 10+ minutes to drive two and half miles is infuriating. The fact that grocery stores are NO WHERE near me is also frustrating, but hey, next time I'm looking for rentals, I'll remember to look for nearby grocery stores...

Is law school hard?

In the words of a dear friend of mine, is the Pope Catholic? Yes. Law school is hard. Reading 50 pages for one class is hard. Applying rules to convoluted fact patterns can be hard. But man, it is so worth it. If you do the reading, if you take clear notes, if you put forth the necessary effort, law school is not unbearably hard.

We were warned throughout orientation that law school, especially our first year, is a "transformative period in our lives". Yeah, okay, whatever...

No, really, it is. I think the biggest change I have seen so far is patience. I'm stuck in traffic, I'm anxious about getting to school, and as the weeks have gone by, I've learned to relax, I will get there eventually. There's no need to get upset. Maybe it is because we are moving slowly through material, maybe it's just the move to a new place, but I am definitely changing. I mean, for goodness sake, I bought Brussels sprouts at the farmer's market this weekend- I am on the cusp of adulthood.

With that being said, pray for the Pope on his tour through the United States this week, pray for me that I keep "surviving" law school.

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...

I'm baaaaaack!

As you can probably tell, it has been a little while since my last post. A culmination of stress (come on, it was my last semester of my undergrad!), and a bit of hypocrisy made me basically give up on this for a bit. But over the last two weeks, I've felt this overwhelming urge to write again, and Mass last night and a video by John Michael Talbot that my mother shared was the last little push I needed. Essentially, I just felt like God was reminding me that even if no one reads or appreciates this, I'm still putting my faith out there for someone who may really need it to find. There aren't enough witnesses to the Faith and the Love of God, and I shouldn't give it up just because of a few snarky people!

With that being said...it's time for a life update! These past few months have been a whirl-wind of activities. I am now attending the University of Missouri, Kansas City School of Law after graduating from Pittsburg State University this May. My longtime boyfriend, Josh, and I are now engaged to be married this upcoming May of 2016! And, to top it all off, I survived my second year as the camp director at the wonderful Camp Re-NEW-All, and learned a heck of a lot more about myself and my faith while bringing the camp one step closer to my personal goals for it.

Now, the message for the day. As I mentioned earlier, there are bigots in this world who tried (and almost successfully) tore me down and away from writing about my faith. But as Jesus reminds us, prophets are rarely welcome in their own homes. Now, I am not calling myself a prophet in the sense that Isiah or St. John the Baptist was a prophet, but I am announcing the Good News, and as Catholics we are anointed prophets at our baptism, which means we are called in our own ways to be be Lights to the World. Below is the video that gave me final spark, and although he looks like kind of a goofy guy, Mr. Talbot has a really awesome (and brief!) message each day.

https://video.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xlp1/v/t42.1790-2/11946044_10155909037590335_1193738889_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjMwMCwicmxhIjo1MTJ9&rl=300&vabr=150&oh=23bee4ec35eb9d736206c3331cd08e59&oe=55E48216 

Happy Monday everyone!

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Ostranenie

Defamiliarizing During Lent

I've been asked many times if I get bored at Mass. "It's the same thing every time," they point out, "do those words mean anything to you?" 

The answer is yes those words mean something to me, but only because I make sure that they do, but this is a struggle. The traditions of the Church are rich and beautiful, but if you are not actively participating in them, they are just words, no different than greetings we exchange without giving actual thoughts to the conversations happening. They are just reactions, not communicating.

Mass should be all about communicating, not a routine, but a treasured conversation between God and you. If you aren't actually focused on the conversation, what good is that conversation?

Try to de-familiarize yourself with Mass over the remaining weeks of Lent. Try to see it as something unfamiliar so that you can look at it differently and more deeply, not just as part of your Sunday routine, but as a precious moment, different from all the others you have throughout the week. Let Lent be an ostranenie to you, encouraging you see the Holy Mass in an entirely new light and prepare yourself for Jesus' return this Easter.

Don't just go through the motions, immerse yourself in God's Light each Sunday, whether at Mass or a different celebration. We could all benefit from a little more attention to our time with God.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

The Patriarchy Stole My Pockets

And other anecdotes about being a woman in 21st century United States.

So, a rant that I frequently have with fellow females is how my dress pants do not have pockets or

See! It barely fits!

that my jeans' pockets are much too small for my phone. My mom often bemoans about how she needs to buy a smaller phone that fits in her pocket.

A casual male observer may point out that I am lucky enough to have a purse. Lucky enough? Ha! That's hilarious. You can carry everything that you need in one pocket, whereas I am strapped down with this extra piece of luggage to carry about day in and day out. The thrill of a purse, putting things in it, and lugging them around are not lost on me- there are benefits to a purse. But goodness, I wish my pockets were big enough to put my phone in.

Female-specific fashion is often designed by males or for males. In fact, some of our most famous designers today are male! Fashion staples, such as bikinis, high heeled shoes, and other "feminine" accessories were invented for the male's sake. Trust me, no women in 1946 was trying to figure out how to get away with more skin. It was a French man by the name of Louis Reard who was trying to find a way to see more skin. Stupid patriarchy.

"But wait LeAnn," you are probably thinking, "what does this have to do with Catholicism?"

Simple. Being a woman in the 21st century automatically creates a different experience than a man. Which means my Catholic experience is different than a man's. When I go to church, I am surrounded by images of men doing amazing, Christian things. My church leaders are dominantly male, and the one I see most often, the priest, is always male.

But the patriarchy has not stolen my God. My gender is not transcribed on my soul and my value as a child of God is not determined by my sex. This Lenten season I have been trying to exhale negativity, and often as a feminist, I butt heads with my religion that is predominantly male. But there are so many incredible Catholic women. The past few weeks, I have researched and prayed and soothed my feminist nature-I can be Catholic and a feminist.

So without further ado, my personal favorite Catholic women include, but are not limited to:

1. St. Helene of the Cross 
2. Dorthy Day
3. St. Mother Teresa 
4. My own mother, Teresa 
5. St. Thérèse of Lisieux 

So, to those of you struggling with your faith this Lent, I encourage you to exhale and inhale, telling yourself that you are breathing out the negatives and inhaling the positives, and then concisouly seek the good things in life.

Okay? Okay!

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

Check Your Privilege

I've mentioned it before and I probably will again but I love my job. The Writing Center at Pitt State is just such a blast, the conversations and learning that happens there is incredible. In the past 4 months I have learned more about writing and people than I have in the past three years in college.

I was casually chatting with on of my bosses about another class, we started discussing the idea of checking one's privilege. Different people with different circumstances have different privileges. The simplest example I can think is a greeting card aisle, how many of those cards feature black or Asian couples, or mixed couples. Are there cards for even less conventional couples or families? Very rarely.

Check your privilege LeAnn.

That made me consider what I've been taking for granted lately:

• higher education
• my house 
• my friends
• my family
• opportunities 
• choices

Being a Caucasian female, a United States citizen, with an incredibly supportive family and friend group. I have monetary support and an occupation that many don't. I have kind, loving, trustworthy, reliable friends and extended family. How often do I truly appreciate what I have? How often do I consider that by simply living in America I have clean water, food, and freedoms that the majority of the world does not.

Check your privilege LeAnn.

I am currently warm. Safe. Comfortable. Typing on a computer. Chewing gum. I have a full stomach and clean home.

Check your privilege LeAnn.

I am encouraged to pursue my own interests. My value is not in my ability to produce children or my family lineage. I am allowed to roam freely unchaperoned and unguarded. I have the political rights to make my own choices for my body. I have the political ability to hold an office, vote, and express my own opinions in whatever form I desire.

Check your privilege LeAnn.

I am daughter of God, a person with the rights and dignities of a human life that only a human life deserves. I am child of God, with a soul no different than anyone else in the world and yet completely different at the same time. I am of this world, entirely focused on my survival and yet I am of another world, another Kingdom that I will not be a part of for many years. I am smaller than the smallest particle, part of a great and infinite universe yet I am a most precious person to the One who made it all. I am His, and He is mine. I am Hers, and She is mine. God knows no gender, God is the Word.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God

John 1:1

Check your privilege world.

We are all unique and precious. But not one of us is more valuable than another.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

Happy New Year

Six days late though. Sorry about that.

How many of you have already broken your resolutions for the new year? Be honest...

Did you make it to the gym every day so far?
Did you stop that habit in its tracks?
Are you immediately a happier, healthier, you?

Of course you're not. That's not how change works. And that's okay.

Do you know how many days it takes to form a new habit? Ninety. It takes ninety days for you to make something a habit. Which means you won't see any changes until at least March, and that's only if you stick to your resolution religiously. But I'm not telling you this to discourage you, I'm telling you this because I want you to understand how brave you are for taking on whatever resolution you have, because it's going to be a long, hard road to become whatever it is you are searching for. And that's okay.

Don't beat yourself up if you've already broken your resolution, just pick yourself up and try again. Right now. Don't tell yourself you will start tomorrow or the day after, start now. New Year's is often used as the opportunity to better, next year, but why not just start now? What difference does the day or the year make? None.

I resolved I would do better about posting on my blog. Yet here I am, posting six days late, almost a week after I intended to. And that's okay, because I'm starting today. And I'll keep trying to do better, again and again, because that's all we can do, try.

If you haven't made a resolution or think New Year's resolutions aren't for you, than I want to suggest something for you to consider; just try. You don't have to succeed, you don't have to the best, but should you at least try this year.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

New Traditions

Happy Thanksgiving friends!

This year's Thanksgiving feels a little odd, I'm not in my old tiny twin bed or at my mom's dining room table. I'm nowhere near my parent's house actually. Josh's family tends to sleepover at his grandparent's house on Thanksgiving night, and so we decided to just stay in Pittsburg while he works and then drive over.

All week, I felt really conflicted about what I should be doing this week. Eventually, we reach an age where our home is not our parent's house, and our family is no longer just the family we were raised with. But when is it appropriate to start a new tradition?

I believe that when you feel safe enough, comfortable enough, loved enough to develop something new with someone(s) you should do it- Josh and I went shopping on Tuesday and had dinner out, calling it our personal Thanksgiving. We picked out gifts for our Secret Santa's and had a great time together. That's our new tradition.

But this newness does not detract from our old commitments, next year, when I'm living in a new place, I'll probably be desperate for a week back home in that safe, warm home. But all the same, your parents will understand. They have to eventually stop serving you Thanksgiving dinner, so that you can serve your own family and friends.

Remember that today, that your traditions were started by someone, and you hold them near and dear to your heart and to your entire life experience. Be thankful for the opportunity to partake in old traditions and begin new ones.

I'm thankful for each and everyone of you, and I hope you have an incredible Thanksgiving day!

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

It's a Special Day

Happy Feast Day, St. Frances!! It's my patron saint's feast day, St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, who was an incredible Italian woman who wanted nothing more than to become a missionary nun like St. Francis Xavier who did missionary work in Asia.

When I was eight or nine, we were given the assignment of writing about our patron saint. I was incredibly upset to find out that my birthday and her feast day were not the same day. In fact, her feast day fell on my little sister's birthday.

Happy Birthday Ginna!

I am so blessed in so many ways, but there is one young lady who is a blessing to me each and every day. She is my best friend and confidant, and I can't imagine a world without her. There are very few seventeen year olds out there who can say they've got it figured out, but this one...this one knows what's up.

She is kind, faithful, and modest. She wants to dedicate her life to helping people and she is one the most hard-working, mature, loving people that I know.


She has helped mold me into the leader and friend that I am, because of how much she looked up to me when we were younger. Nowadays, I often feel like we are the same age, and that we both have so much to offer to the other. She believed in my ability to run camp before I did, and was there for me every step of the way this past summer.

My best memories of Ginna are infinite, I couldn't pick a favorite. When she was infant, she fell asleep in my arms, and all I wanted to do was read, but I also couldn't bear the idea of putting her down. So I sat there, holding and reading to her until my parents woke up from their nap and "relieved me" of my childcare duties.

I can remember cheering for her at every sport she has tried, trying over and over again to help her fall in love with books like I have, and eventually succeeding. Even when I didn't, I loved sharing a room with her. To this day, I dislike sleeping in an empty room because of our twelve years in a shared room.

But my most recent, favorite memory is when I shared my room with her at camp this summer. She was with me through that third week of camp, which was undoubtedly the hardest, and made each night before we crashed so much lighter, and made the thought of two more weeks seem so much more achievable.

For many siblings, a five year difference could cause huge fights and differences between siblings, and believe me, it did. But our differences have also brought us closer together, and created, for me at least, my best friend.

I love you Ginna Rosie, happy birthday!

LeAnn

Pope Francis's Statement - cont.

So, after the Synod the media world has exploded, my morning newsletter, Skimm even had a segment about it. Remember while reading these article that the Catholic Church is not suddenly exploding into a liberal church- they are just restating what we have always stated:

LOVE.

and

TOLERANCE.

Here are some more links for you all, from Catholic news sites and secular sites like what I gave you last night again.


This is a little long, but it's very good:

http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/synod-relatio-document-only-a-working-document/ 

And this one gives you both sides, because like everything else, there are different opinions about the synod:

http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/serious-reservations-expressed-about-content-of-synod-report/

Totus tuus dears,

LeAnn

Pope Francis's Latest

Goodness, I love this man. He is such a kind, humble, loving man of God and of Faith.

In a meeting with 200 bishops at the Vatican today, he discussed many family-related issues facing the Church in our modern age. He did not argue for a change of doctrine or taking leave of core Catholic beliefs, but he did ask for acceptance of gay, single, and unmarried people. He asked for the Church to be loving of those who are divorced, and kind to children who come from unconventional families. Our Holy Father promises that the holy institution of marriage will always remain part of our Catholic faith, but that does not mean we cannot recognize the that there are "positive aspects of civil unions and cohabitation", stepping away from the idea of condemning those who would have formally known as living in sin.

The Church will still not condone gay marriage or union, said one of the bishops present, but it will "respect the dignity of every person", an idea that relies heavily on focusing on the individual, rather than just the sexual orientation.

As young Catholics, we often struggle with our Church's traditions. We are surrounded by a media that has given a face and name to various types of non-traditional families and relationships. We go to school with, live near, and befriend people who are different than us because we recognize that differences are not reason for personal condemnation, and even more importantly, we know that it is not our place to do so.

Please this week, take some time in your daily prayer to pray for more tolerance, more acceptance, and more love for those who need just a little bit more from our Church. Be their Brother or Sister in Christ, not their enemy.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/14/world/europe/vatican-signals-more-tolerance-toward-gays-and-remarriage.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&version=LedeSum&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0 

http://world.time.com/2013/09/19/pope-francis-expresses-tolerance-of-gays-support-for-women/

Announcements, Announcements...

ANNOUNCEMENTS!!

I do have another one, and it's a big one!

My big plans for Camp Re-NEW-All are coming together wonderfully, and I just have to brag!

We are having a Staff Service Day in December, working with Catholic Charities in the Springfield MO area. The day will be spent in service to others, while still getting to spend time with the staff peers. There are so many reasons why I want to do this, but here are my top three:

1. Servant Leaders
1. This is a whole new opportunity for my staff to learn all about being good servant leaders in the community
2. Team Building
1. Another opportunity for the staff to get to know each other, work together, and have fun while still doing something for someone else
3. A Dash of Catholic
1. One of my goals for this entire year of my life and Camp is to add a dash of Catholic Christians in everything I say and do, which means everything I'm in charge of

You have to admit- that looks so good on paper! Now, what does this mean for my staffers reading this? Keep your eyes open for applications that will be coming out, information in parish bulletins and the Mirror (our Diocesan newspaper). 

How's that for keeping busy?

Speaking of busy...it's Homecoming week, the start of the midterm weeks, and my to-do list (which is now LSAT free!!) is still so so long. But I love it.

So, what do you all think of my big big plans??

Totus Tuus, 

LeAnn 

Emma Watson - My Hero

So, I really and truly have a perfectly good excuse for why I have not written in a month and five days. I am have been a giant ball of stress because in five days, I will be taking my LSAT to get into law school. Those who know me probably haven't seen me in years (weeks), because I have this awful tendency to hole myself up in my room and study.
In my nervousness for this speech and in my moments of doubt I’ve told myself firmly—if not me, who, if not now, when. If you have similar doubts when opportunities are presented to you I hope those words might be helpful.
Gender is a societal construct, we force gender on each other every day by expecting a man or woman to behave in a particularly manly or womanly way


Study. 

Study. 

Study. 

Truly, Hermione Granger would be proud of me. Which provides me with an excellent way to jump into my real blog post tonight- 

Emma Watson and the HeForShe movement. 

You all know I am feminist, and I take great pride in this. I firmly believe in gender equality, and in all equality. I think it is right and just for men and women to be treated equally economically, politically, and socially. So does Emma. 

What really stood out to me about this, is that she's right- who is this Harry Potter girl and why is she talking to us about equality?

She is someone brave enough, strong enough, smart enough to take a stand and speak about what she believes in. God created us all equally, man and woman, and loves us all equally. We deserve to be treated equally, but we are not. 

If men don’t have to be aggressive in order to be accepted women won’t feel compelled to be submissive. If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong… It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum not as two opposing sets of ideals.

We should be free to be whomever we want to be, and to have any of the characteristics God has given us, rather than trying to be feminine or masculine according to our society. 

I'm currently taking a sociology class on gender studies, and the professor likes to make grand points that she finds are particularly impactful. When she does, she widens her eyes and makes an odd face. The widest her eyes have ever been was for this statement: 


But she is right, we. are not our gender. We are people with characteristics that someone along the way decided was masculine or feminine. 

Thank goodness I did not let those gender roles define me. Even at a young age, I was called loud, bossy, controlling, sassy, and sarcastic. All of these qualities were not appreciated in me because they were not feminine enough. But fifteen years later, those parents and peers who complained about me being bossy were congratulating me on my new job as camp director, saying that I would be perfect the job, and that I was a great leader. 

I pray and fight for equality every day so that my hypothetical daughter does not come home crying because she is "too bossy" and is disliked by her friend's parent's for those qualities that they expect from little boys, not girls. I hope for a day when my hypothetical son will not be afraid to have feelings, but also not be afraid to play sports, or read, or draw, or whatever it is that makes him happy, that makes him him. 

We have to work together to make a change, we cannot give this just 50% of our population, it takes 100% of us. 

HeForShe. 

Totus tuus my dears,

LeAnn 

Read Emma Watson's full speech here 

To Learn about the HeForShe movement, visit http://www.heforshe.org/

Post-Camp Depression Disorder

Post- Camp Depression Disorder. It's a very real thing, in which someone has donated a week or more of their time to church they love greatly now must enter civilian life again, and are struggling with it.

A lot.

I am a victim of PCDD. I feel like I should be wearing a dark green t-shirt every Monday morning. I'm up by 7:00 am to ring a bell that's nowhere near me, and I miss being called mom by mouthy teenagers. I've got it bad.

I miss camp so much- it's not even a pain that I'm really aware of until I recognize what I'm missing at that moment, and it's always something about camp.

To counteract my PCDD, Josh and I went to the beach!

 And we brought his dog, Oliver as well. Isn't he adorable?

My diagnosis of PCDD is doing much better now, thanks to an incredible trip with my two favorite men- just in time too, because my last year of my undergrad studies starts tomorrow at 9 am sharp. 

Look for a more meaningful post in the next week or two, obviously this was more of a "why LeAnn has not written since camp" post than anything at all. 

Totus tuus,

LeAnn 

Free-range camp director

Well, I did it. Not without some difficulties here and there, but I did it- I ran all five weeks of Camp Re-NEW-All with very problems. And my oh my, was it a learning experience for everyone involved. There are so many life lessons found in those five weeks, about being a leader, a good person, and a mom to roughly 90 people each week.

Things I learned:

1.) Not everyone gets my sense of humor - I should probably come with a warning label

2.) Positive reinforcement works wonders

3.) I am the bad cop, and the good cop. It's difficult sometimes to be both.

4.) Allowing the group to see my failings, as well as my successes creates a more open, warm environment.

5.) Don't be afraid to make changes - if I do it with confidence, everyone will follow suit because I'm the leader

Things I wished I knew:



1.) The best cure for homesickness is creating a family

2.) It can be lonely

3.) There is no better feeling than being called "Mom" and hearing 90 kids say "yes ma'am"

4.) I would fall in love with every single one of those kids

The most important thing that I learned, and that I wish I knew was garnered from Fr. Tom McGann, who was our Camp priest at 2C and came for confessions as much as possible. "Every time you look at the campers," he said, "see the face of God. Serve them as if they were Jesus. Because they are, we all have Him inside of us."



That piece of advice was all I needed to survive 3C, hump week, and my personally hardest week of the summer, and to make the final two such a success.

Camp is over until next July, and I'm no longer tied to the camp ground, I'm free-range, as my staff would say, and I'm so happy to be, but I'll also admit that I teared up a bit this past Friday, leaving my camp behind, and moving on from it, until next year.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

Don't be stupid...

Stay in the boat!

During my first week of camp, my boss came to town- Bishop Johnston of the Springfield-Cape Girardeu diocese stopped by to say Mass and enjoy a meal with some the youth of his diocese.

"What is one of the stupidest things you can do on a boat in a storm?" he asked the kids. They all looked around confused, seeing as most of them have had little experience with boats or storms. Bobbi Mosley, our cook, leaned in and whispered to me, "jump out!"

Eventually, Bp. Johnston was able to pull it out of them, that the stupidest thing to do was to jump out of the boat in a storm.

"The Church is the boat, when times get rough, when you feel scared, frustrated, or abandoned, don't jump out of the boat. The Apostles thought Jesus was sleeping, not paying any attention to them or their problems, but He was right there. Jesus will never abandon us."

The kids loved it. For days, I heard them using the Bishop's earthy, child-friendly phrase. It stuck with my staff too, they're talking about even making shirts. And it stuck with me, on Wednesday, I hit a wall. I was so tired, and just unsure of what I was supposed to be doing or saying. Bobbi laughed at me, cheering me on over the hump, all I needed was a minute to breathe, and remind myself that I am not abandoned. I'm surrounded by campers and staff who listened to, respected, and loved me. I could do this.

"Don't be stupid, stay in the boat," I heard Bp. Johnston say, and then I was up and ready to go again.

Totus tuus,

LeAnn

Happy Pentecost!

So, this Sunday is Pentecost Sunday, and to celebrate the priest presiding over the Mass I attended had us sing "Happy Birthday" to the Church.

Pentecost is celebrated to remember the day that the Holy Spirit rained down on the Apostles in the form of flames, and they were filled with the Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

There are many different gifts, but it is always the same Spirit;
there are many different ways of serving, but it is always the same Lord. There are many different forms of activity, but in everybody it is the same God who is at work in them all. The particular manifestation of the Spirit granted to each one is to be used for the general good.

There are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: wisdom, understanding, counsel, knowledge, fortitude, piety, and fear of the Lord. As Catholics, we receive the Gifts of the Holy Spirit at Confirmation. When I was fifteen, and about to be confirmed, all I thought was that I would immediately become wise. It doesn't quite work like that, but I can say that over the years, the more I've committed to God, the more I've allowed the Spirit into my heart, I have become more wise. But I also understand more, and have become more pious and have more awe for my Lord God.

First Corinthians, chapter 12, we are told by St. Paul that the Spirit will affect us all differently. And I agree, the Spirit will work differently in all of us. The Spirit pushes and encourages us, gently guiding us down the path that we were meant to walk.

So, Pentecost isn't just a "Happy Birthday!" to the Church, it's a "Happy Birthday!" to all of us, because we are reborn in the Church on this day.

Happy birthday, and totus tuus,

LeAnn 

Summertime is finally here...

The unofficial Verhoff way of kicking off summer occurs on Memorial Day weekend, like most. We load up the Enterprise, and fly off into the great unknown. Actually, we load up my dad's huge diesel Ford Excursion and drive about 50 minutes to my grandparent's lake house on Table Rock Lake, only 100 feet from the water, and short drive from the beautiful Eureka Springs, AR.

The Excursion and I have a history together that is not all together pleasant. Somewhere in our adventures, I crashed into a telephone pole, taking out Neosho MO power for a few hours and costing my poor dad several thousand dollars in repairs on his beloved Enterprise (again, sorry Dad). Ever since then, I try to avoid driving that veritable monster, but on Monday of our vacation I was sent on an errand to Holliday Island, a little town with a shopping center closest to us.

In the parking lot, a man stopped me to let me know I had a low tire. Low was an understatement. The tire was practically flat, but had enough air in it to get me to the gas station that was barely 200 yards away. Imagine my dismay when I pulled up to the air tank to read an "Out of Order" sign taped on haphazardly. I ran into the store, hoping that they had just forgotten to take the sign off, no such luck. The ladies were working were so helpful though, pointing out a car service station next door. It was closed, but I thought I was another air tank. I did, but it sprayed sweet smelling stuff all over the interior car after vacuuming it. That wasn't going to help me any.

So I parked my vehicle, went inside and tried to get in touch with my dad. Why hadn't I done this earlier? Because we get terrible reception at the lake, and I doubted my ability to get in touch with them. Luckily, my mom had just put her phone in the window where we get about one bar and was able to talk to me. Their advice was to change the tire myself, which is laughable considering how large those tires are, not to mention how heavy.

Around this time, a very nice woman approached me saying she had time to help me change the tire. Another woman, with much more confidence walked up to another gentleman, on his mandatory lunch break and asked if he knew how to change a tire, and if he could help us out. Between the three of us, the man, the woman, and myself, we were able to change the tire. But believe me, it was a team effort. She wasn't strong enough to lift the tire, I wasn't strong enough to loosen the bolts, he didn't know where anything was- but together we made a decent team.

Throughout this little adventure, the woman mentioned several times that God is so good. And believe me, at the beginning of this, I was not praising the Lord. I was mostly muttering about how frustrated I was and how stupid the whole thing was. But by the end of it, I was agreeing with her. God is always good, no matter how frustrating of a situation you are in. God doesn't give us things we can't handle, even though sometimes we need to handle them with a little help, whether it be from God or from another one of God's amazing creations.

I know it's something I seem to preach a lot, that God is always there, that God always has your back, that God rocks, but honestly, 9 times out of 10 that's what we need to here. We live in a world that can easily be perceived as hopeless, but it is in those times that God is the most present. Even in the small bumps along the road, such as a flat on Memorial Day Weekend.

Happy summer, and as always,

Totus tuus,

LeAnn