We are Seen

As I update my resume after one semester of law school, I pause and debate what should or should not be added. I did pass all of my classes, and although I am not a Dean's List student (3.0 or higher), I did not do poorly. But my past academic experiences weigh on me, saying that this GPA is no good, and that I should have worked harder, should have done better. The overall resume looks sparse, I have little legal experience; I keep reminding myself that I am only a 1L and this is normal, but again, it weighs on me. I feel like I've let myself, and more importantly, God down by not taking more initiative to gain experience and earn better grades.

But this morning I was reminded that God does not see us through human eyes.

And I was reminded that God really does not give a damn about resume or my cover letter. If I have been called to serve God and God's children through this, and if I put my trust in god, it will happen. That's not to say that I won't have to work, because I will, but God's got my back so to speak, and God is not judging me for such trivial human things. That ultimate goal, that truly big picture, is that whatever we do, we shall serve the Lord.

So stop berating yourself because your grades aren't quite what you wanted, your worth is not based on your As.
Stop kicking yourself because you didn't get the internship you wanted, keep trying, you'll eventually end up where you belong because tenacity truly pays off.
Don't become angry because the first job you apply for doesn't hire you, keep looking.

Ultimately, remember that your worth and value is not determined by how humanity perceives you, but how you make yourself available to God, the Son, and the Spirit. With that being said, as social creatures we crave human approval, we crave success, and we desire to be valued. And you can do all of those things, but along the way, do not forget that God is with you, loves you, and will continue to love you in a way no human can.

Tota tua,

LeAnn

"Words not Deeds" in our Baptism

At Mass yesterday, in light of the Baptism of Jesus in the Gospel, the priest encouraged everyone to consider their own baptism, and what it means to them. As Catholics, baptized as babies, we often seem to forget that we have been baptized or that it "did" something for us as Christians. 

In reality, our baptism is everything. It signifies that have become part of a community of believers, that we been washed clean of Original Sin, and that now, we have a duty because we have been anointed priest, prophet, and king. So, what does my baptism mean to me?

As a priest, I am called to celebrate the Mass with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am called to pray for others, and offer my own "sacrifices" to the Lord. Just as Melchizedek offered burned offerings, we offer are on failings, triumphs, lives to God each day. But we also offer the greatest sacrifice each Sunday in the Eucharist, recognizing and receiving God's Son. 

Baptized as a prophet, I am called to proclaim my love of the Lord! This means that I am to share my faith with others, to not deny him three times as Peter did, but to claim God as my own. This also means that I am supposed to bring others closer to God through my own life. Camp, church with Josh, prayer with my family and friends, all of these things are acts of a prophet for the Lord. 

King. I think this is perhaps the most difficult one - what does it mean to be a king for God? I think this is a call to leadership, in our own ways. For me, this being a camp director, a big sister, a future wife and mother, who will guide those in her care closer to God, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

But ultimately, my baptism means action. It means walking my talk, and truly embodying what Christ has called me to be, a daughter of God, a priest in my own right, a prophet through the written word, and a king through leadership skills and opportunities Christ has blessed me with. 

Try to meditate on your baptism today - what does it mean to you? What do you do and what do you say that shows the world your fire that you have been baptized with? 

Tota tua, 

LeAnn 

P.S. the quote, "words not deeds" comes from Alice Paul, a suffragist and feminist who is totally worthy of a quick search today if you feel like learning about an incredible, hardworking woman! 

Joy of the Holy Spirit

Wth finals weeks done and out of the way,  and no classes for a few weeks, posting uplifting things suddenly seems more possible. I don't have to read a case for at least two weeks, how great is that!

With Christmas a few days away, I wanted to just take a few seconds and ask how your Advent is going? Have you prepared for the Lord the way we talked about four short weeks ago?

I definitely made the effort to pick up my Bible more, and make more of an effort to apply it to each day. And I found myself in a more Christmasy spirit than I normally have. December held some intersting interactions for me, starting with attending a good friend's small, intimate wedding, where an ex (who hasn't been seen in years) would be. To say we ended ok good terms would be inaccurate at the least, and I was so anxious about it, after all,  the last thing I wanted was my personal nonsense to influence my friend's big day. So before I walked into the venue, I reflected on what I had read earlier that day, about the Lord's peace and about forgiveness, and I walked in.

Just like that, I felt the Holy Spirit fill me up. Suddenly, I was just joyful for the wedding I was about to attend, for the vocation and vows that were about to take place. And I felt more prepared for Christ's birth than I had in years.

This is what it means  to be prepared for His birthday, this is what it feels like to by joyful in Christ, I kept thinking.

We have five more days to find that joy- put yourself out there. Stop stressing about presents, holiday parties, and the over trivial things of the holidays and rejoice and be glad, because unto us will soon be born a Saviorc, Christ the King

Tota tua,

LeAnn

I Missed That Memo...

Sunday's Gospel, the one about the young man who wanted to know what more to do and was then dismayed at the idea is one of the most disheartening Gospels to me. The last half, about how it would be easier for a camel to fit into the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Well. Shoot. I don't know about you- but to me that is just a downer. If it's this difficult then what can I possibly do to earn my place in the Kingdom?

The Gospel goes on and Jesus warns the Disciples that no one can enter the Kingdom, ."..it is impossible..."

Darn.

"But all is possible through God."

Until yesterday, I had never noticed that this line was paired with the lines above it, and suddenly that Gospel became one of the most hopeful stories I have heard in a long time. The point of this tale is not to tell us how impossible things are, but how possible they are with God!

I don't know how in many years of Mass that I missed this key part of the Gospel, or how I had just put this last piece of the puzzle together, but suddenly Christ's message made infinitely more sense in the context of the Gospel. He was telling his men, and reminding us, that we cannot do it alone. You can anyone or anything, but without God, you will not accomplish your final and most important task; to join Him in Heaven.

We all have vocations, callings, and dreams, but when it is all said and done, we have one goal in life, because this is not our final place, this is not our home.

Ask God for help; become closer to Christ. Reach out the Holy Spirit and let it wrap itself around you. Make one small change, you don't have to give away all of your possessions, just make a little more room for God in your life.

Tota tua,

LeAnn

Happy Pentecost!

So, this Sunday is Pentecost Sunday, and to celebrate the priest presiding over the Mass I attended had us sing "Happy Birthday" to the Church.

Pentecost is celebrated to remember the day that the Holy Spirit rained down on the Apostles in the form of flames, and they were filled with the Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

There are many different gifts, but it is always the same Spirit;
there are many different ways of serving, but it is always the same Lord. There are many different forms of activity, but in everybody it is the same God who is at work in them all. The particular manifestation of the Spirit granted to each one is to be used for the general good.

There are seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: wisdom, understanding, counsel, knowledge, fortitude, piety, and fear of the Lord. As Catholics, we receive the Gifts of the Holy Spirit at Confirmation. When I was fifteen, and about to be confirmed, all I thought was that I would immediately become wise. It doesn't quite work like that, but I can say that over the years, the more I've committed to God, the more I've allowed the Spirit into my heart, I have become more wise. But I also understand more, and have become more pious and have more awe for my Lord God.

First Corinthians, chapter 12, we are told by St. Paul that the Spirit will affect us all differently. And I agree, the Spirit will work differently in all of us. The Spirit pushes and encourages us, gently guiding us down the path that we were meant to walk.

So, Pentecost isn't just a "Happy Birthday!" to the Church, it's a "Happy Birthday!" to all of us, because we are reborn in the Church on this day.

Happy birthday, and totus tuus,

LeAnn