Whatever is...

With the church camp season almost upon us, lists are floating all over my small apartment. Lists of things to pack, purchase, leave behind, goals, and whatever else I can think of in preparation. There is so much that doesn't belong at camp, so what I allow myself to bring can be tricky. Not just longer shorts and extra deodorant, but there are spiritual things that have to come along to.

What am I bringing to camp this year? My prayer journal, my Bible, my Rosary. But more importantly, I am bring my favorite verse to meditate on as the weeks go by. My focus over the next fives will be a verse from Philippians that caught my attention at the end of the camp season last summer. I've carried it quietly in my head ever since then, but I have yet to truly put it into practice.

Last year's camp season was not an easy one. There were physical challenges (tornado, flood, heat, etc.) but there were more difficult emotional challenges. There was a grudge or two, some loneliness, and a fixation on the negative rather than the positives of camp.

Which is where Philippians 4:8 comes in. The goal over the next five weeks is to focus on the good, but more than just the good. The true, the noble, right, pure, lovely... You get the picture. I want to see those things. The excellent, praise-worthy pieces of camp and I want to keep them close as the weeks go by.

But more than that, I want this attitude to extend beyond camp. Somewhere along the way, camp became a sort of spiritual restart button for me. It's that time of year where I really check in and try to understand where I am at in my faith and how I can do better.


Tota tua.

Still Blogging

Almost a year ago, I decided I was done with this whole blogging thing. Someone had commented and tore apart what I had written, something that I had really believed in. I was mad and done. And (obviously) I got over it because there's more to life than how people respond to what you believe in. There's more to life than what social media has to say about you. And there's more to life than what those around you think of you. At some point, you have to decide who and what truly matters.

And what matters to me is that I love my family. I am beyond amazed by the love and marriage I have just entered. And God, who gave me all of this, matters. Matters more than the perception of my peers, more than the perception of my friends. My life, my family, my marriage, none of it would be possible without God. Which is why Timothy's letter rings so true to me today.

Remind people of these things
and charge them before God to stop disputing about words.
This serves no useful purpose since it harms those who listen.
Be eager to present yourself as acceptable to God,
a workman who causes no disgrace,
imparting the word of truth without deviation. (2 TM 2: 8-15)

I'm not perfect. My words are not perfect and that's not what matters. What matters is when we present ourselves before our God, we have no shame, no disgrace. We imparted the Words of Truth to the best of our ability, and did our best to share the Love we have for our God without any deviation. And that's what matters. That we did our best to share what we truly believe, irregardless of how others react. And as Timothy reminds us earlier in his letter, we were not made to be timid.

Tota tua.

The Eucharist 102: Miracles

   

I mentioned in yesterday's blog post that transubstantiation can be difficult to wrap our heads around, and that the entire concept is one of the great mysteries of the Church. And it is, the spiritual transformation of something is a little hard to wrap our very human minds around, and that's okay. The whole point of the Eucharist was to give us outward signs of an inner workings; physically receiving Jesus helps us better understand how He nourishes us each week.

But God has provided us other outward signs about this incredible gift. These miracles often happened when someone, usually the priest, struggled with believing in the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist. For over 250 years in Italy, consecrated hosts have been perfectly preserved. Scientists have studied them and have yet to understand why the consecrated hosts have not rotted yet. In Bolsena-Orvieta, Italy, a priest doubting the true presence was convinced when real blood began to seep out of the bread immediately after consecrating. Pope Urban IV commissioned the feast day of Corpus Christi in honor of this miracle. Other Eucharistic miracles include saints or blessed indiciduals who survived on the Eucharist alone, including St. Catherine of Genoa, St. Catherine of Sienna, and most famously, Blessed Alexandra da Costa of Egypt, who died in 1955.

Miracles are not uncommon in the Church, but they are severely scrutinized before they are declared miracles in the first place. The Church has its own process and group of people responsible for investigating and understanding any and all other explanations before they reach the conclusion, that this was indeed a miracle.

Most importantly, what can be drawn from this is that Eucharist (and other sacraments) are physical representations of God's love and mercy on earth, outward signs of God's grace to help us better understand and believe in God, His Son, the Spirit, and the Church.

Tota tua.

Sharing the Joy

A while back, I mentioned how evangelizing is one of the things that I really am bad at outside of writing this blog. I feel uncomfortable putting my beliefs out there, as if everyone needs to believe what I believe. I get frustrated when others do it to me, when they catch me off-guard in my home or at school wanting to talk. And I need to just get over it, because this is something I have been called to do as a child of God. I am supposed to tell people about wonderful God is, how good God is, and how blessed we all are to have such a loving God.

While providing a reference for someone last evening, I was overcome by the interviewer's very casual conversation about God. Sure, he knew that I ran a church camp, making me fair game for any kind of religious conversation, but his faith and testimony to it was as tangible as seeing him leading worship in a church-setting. This man was evangelizing in a way I wish I could, so naturally that it was just part of our conversations about his potential employee, our camps, and how he is a full-time camp director (jealous!!).

In the book of Acts, we see the joy that can come from evangelizing, as the Apostles are brought before the Sanhedrin despite warnings that they needed to stop teaching about Christ in Jerusalem. And instead of stopping or going elsewhere, the Apostles rejoiced that they were worthy of enough to be suffer in their Lord's name. (Acts 5 27:32) Can you imagine rejoicing because you've been arrested for talking about God? Probably not.

I think the more important thing here is how much they wanted to share about God and God's Son. That this was something they truly wanted to do, and did. Regardless of how people felt about it, or how they felt about it, they were answering God's call to share with their peers, to evangelize despite what they had been told by others in positions of power. And this doesn't have to be aggressive or rude, it can be as simple as a phone conversation mid-interview.

God is good all the time, but how would people know if we don't share that with them? This isn't about being #blessed on Instagram or Facebook. It's about authentic conversations that give God credit when God moves in your life, like finding you a job that allows you to law and camp this summer. Or that as the wedding draws closer, more and more offers to help keep coming up, just in time to save you frustration and struggle. And we should share that in our day-top-day lives.

Tota tua.

Dear Camp Volunteer

Dear Camp Volunteer,

You recently sent your application in, and you're eagerly anticipating the your placement letters that will come out in early May. Never mind that this is over a month away, you're probably already checking your mailboxes with enthusiasm. Thank you so much for your eagerness and joy to volunteer at a summer camp. You are going to be such a fantastic addition to the teams that the director is slowly piecing together right about now. She may even be taking a break to write you this letter. I am so overwhelmed and humbled by how far our camp has come in the last two years, and I just wanted to take a moment and tell you all thank you.

1.) Thank you for volunteering eagerly. I, rather snottily, asked for you turn in applications on time this year, making it very clear I was not going to tolerate tardiness and you rose above and beyond. Whether it was because you were just excited to apply or because you truly listen to me, I am thankful that you did this, making my job a little bit easier.

2.) Thank you for being open to change. Not a week goes by that I don't have some kind of idea to mix things up. You've learned that I fear stagnation, and that I love to mix things up, and you've been open to everything I have tossed in your courts. Not only that, but you have been open with me about how feel about these things. Thank you! I listen to your opinions and truly take them into account each time I consider making some kind of large change. None of these would be successful without your genuine enthusiasm to try these ideas out.

3.) Thank you for your joy! Your applications seem to drip with the joy and excitement for the upcoming summer. Playful notes, sincere offers to do whatever is needed, and dreams about where you may be placed make reading them that much more fun. What could be a tedious office job is no more, because of how happily you filled out those applications. You make me excited to work with you this summer-your camp spirit is infectious.

4.) Thank you for your honesty. You tell me what you really think about the jobs being offered to you. It's okay that you don't want to work kitchen staff again! You did it last year, and we were thankful for you hard work, and besides that, I want you in a job you will love. Thank you for telling me that you cannot work two sessions or that last year was your last. I wish you all the best, and we will keep you in our prayers for years to come.

5.) Thank you for your faith, the faith that you are ready to share with campers this summer. Thank you for being willing to put yourselves out there and discuss the beauty of your faith, your personal relationship with God, and your own unique of getting to know God, the Son, and the Spirit, so that your campers can follow in your faith-on-fire footsteps.

6.) Thank you for trusting me with your most precious place, your home-away-from-home, and your safe place. The place where you can be beautifully and uniquely yourselves. The place where you are unafraid to feel all of the feels, participate in all of the things, and share yourselves with each other and me. Thank you for trusting me, despite my lack of constant warmth, my sarcasm, and the fact that sometimes I scare you.

7.) Thank you for all you give me. I would not be who I am, what I am today if was not for all you have taught me in the last two years as director, and the years before that as a fellow volunteer. You make me feel so brave and strong, so empowered, and so capable. Your faith in me helps me to do what I could never do. You truly bring out the best in me.

I hope you're getting excited for the summer, and I promise, those letters will come sooner than you think.

Tota tua.

"Words not Deeds" in our Baptism

At Mass yesterday, in light of the Baptism of Jesus in the Gospel, the priest encouraged everyone to consider their own baptism, and what it means to them. As Catholics, baptized as babies, we often seem to forget that we have been baptized or that it "did" something for us as Christians. 

In reality, our baptism is everything. It signifies that have become part of a community of believers, that we been washed clean of Original Sin, and that now, we have a duty because we have been anointed priest, prophet, and king. So, what does my baptism mean to me?

As a priest, I am called to celebrate the Mass with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am called to pray for others, and offer my own "sacrifices" to the Lord. Just as Melchizedek offered burned offerings, we offer are on failings, triumphs, lives to God each day. But we also offer the greatest sacrifice each Sunday in the Eucharist, recognizing and receiving God's Son. 

Baptized as a prophet, I am called to proclaim my love of the Lord! This means that I am to share my faith with others, to not deny him three times as Peter did, but to claim God as my own. This also means that I am supposed to bring others closer to God through my own life. Camp, church with Josh, prayer with my family and friends, all of these things are acts of a prophet for the Lord. 

King. I think this is perhaps the most difficult one - what does it mean to be a king for God? I think this is a call to leadership, in our own ways. For me, this being a camp director, a big sister, a future wife and mother, who will guide those in her care closer to God, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

But ultimately, my baptism means action. It means walking my talk, and truly embodying what Christ has called me to be, a daughter of God, a priest in my own right, a prophet through the written word, and a king through leadership skills and opportunities Christ has blessed me with. 

Try to meditate on your baptism today - what does it mean to you? What do you do and what do you say that shows the world your fire that you have been baptized with? 

Tota tua, 

LeAnn 

P.S. the quote, "words not deeds" comes from Alice Paul, a suffragist and feminist who is totally worthy of a quick search today if you feel like learning about an incredible, hardworking woman! 

Choosing the Light

Only a week ago, I was shaking my head at my Facebook news feed. It was filled with petty posts about red cups and the loud, uninformed opinions about Mizzou's situation (uninformed on both sides). There was so much negativity and confrontation, it was difficult to not write about it as well, but I knew the last thing needed was another negative post. And then on Friday, disaster struck around the world and my selfish, petty American feed pulled their heads out of their butts to realize that while we had been arguing about cups, there were much more serious things going on in the world.

When disaster strikes, it is so easy to pick a scapegoat, to question God, to lash out at those around us. Without thinking western culture points a finger to Islam, we start to blame the thousands of refugees. We shake our fists at, demanding to know how God could allow something so horrible. Our government officials panic, feeling the demand of millions who need to know something is being done to prevent another attack.

As we pray for Beirut, Paris, Mexico, Japan, Bagdad, and others, we need to avoid blaming innocents for the works of a few. To blame Islam for what happened makes us no better than those who attacked this weekend. Islam is a vast group of people, from all over the world. Blaming a religion, which teaches non-violence, responsible for this is wrong. Islam does claim them, so why do group them all together? We don't blame other Baptist churches for Westboro, we don't blame the Pope for corrupt parishes, and we cannot blame Islam for this either. The last thing we need right now is more anger and violence.

How could God allow for this to happen? That time old tradition of free will is what allowed this to happen. God did not want these deaths around the world no more than God wanted Cain to kill Abel, but because God loves us enough to allow us to choose, this can happen. Our government officials are terrified, they carry burdens we do not; a responsibility to the millions of people in their countries. Pray for them, that they develop the plans necessary to protect without infringing on the rights of their citizens or harming far too many for the good of a few.

A few weeks ago, I put my foot in my mouth, trying to express that I understand why racial profiling happens, that I get why cops, airports, and other officials do what they do. I understand fear, and that it makes us do crazy things. I understand, but I do not agree. Maybe this is just me trying to rectify what I said, but hate is not the answer, nor is fear. That overdone, over-quoted chapter 13 of Corinthians reminds us that the greatest thing we have is love. Without love, none of this matters, and if the world is going to recover from this Friday, and other acts of aggression, we have to do so with love, not hate. There are so many places right now that are reeling from natural and man-made disasters, but this is not something that happens every now and again. The world is constantly hurting, and instead of helping, we would rather debate about those damn cups. We need to lovingly
open our eyes, and see the world for what it is, and what it could be. We have to not let our fear control us, we need to let our hope, our faith, and most importantly, our love be what guides us through our lives.

Be conscious of what you do and say, choose to love rather than to blame. We cannot create more darkness when all we want is a bright, loving world.

Tota tua,

LeAnn

The Crying Woman

In today's Gospel, we hear a familiar story, about a woman who washes Jesus' feet with her tears, dries them with her hair, and then anoints them with expensive oil (Luke 7 36:50). As a child, it was a funny image. How does someone cry enough to wash another person's feet? Her hair must have been so long to be able to dry His feet like that... Gross, kissing someone's feet!

The image itself distracted me from the reality of the what this woman was doing. Now, as an adult and hearing this story, my pride cringes at the idea of kneeling before another person and washing their feet with my tears and drying them with my hair (although I still don't think my hair is long enough for that). Obviously, there is more to the story: Jesus informs her that her sins are forgiven and reminds the Pharisees that what she has done and the great love she has shown, which earns her great forgiveness in return. "Your faith has saved you," He tells her.

I think part of the impact of this story happens before the beginning. Try to just imagine acting like she does. Disregard the probability of it, but try to imagine being so sorry and ashamed for what you have done that you produce enough tears to wash someone's feet. Try to imagine planning this out, she obviously had forethought if she had purchased that jar of oil beforehand. Putting yourself low enough to the ground that you can was another's feet. Making the decision to put yourself literally at the feet of your Lord and admit all of your faults.

Would you be able to put your pride aside and do this? Keep in mind, Jesus has not told her that He is God, He has not risen from the dead yet, she is relying on faith and only her faith. Do you have enough faith in God, enough love for God, enough trust in God to put yourself out there? To cry in front of the leaders of your hometown and religion and physically, if not verbally, show how sorry you are for your sins?

Maybe we don't have to go so far though...

If what saved her was her faith, then maybe that is all that is needed. Faith that God will always forgive you, welcome you, and take you into loving arms. You have to trust that God will. And how can we, as Catholics (or Christians) do this? We can wash another's feet, we can ask for forgiveness either in prayer, at church, or in confession. But the important thing is that we have enough faith to ask in the first place.

 Ask and receive.


Tota tua,

LeAnn

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...

I'm baaaaaack!

As you can probably tell, it has been a little while since my last post. A culmination of stress (come on, it was my last semester of my undergrad!), and a bit of hypocrisy made me basically give up on this for a bit. But over the last two weeks, I've felt this overwhelming urge to write again, and Mass last night and a video by John Michael Talbot that my mother shared was the last little push I needed. Essentially, I just felt like God was reminding me that even if no one reads or appreciates this, I'm still putting my faith out there for someone who may really need it to find. There aren't enough witnesses to the Faith and the Love of God, and I shouldn't give it up just because of a few snarky people!

With that being said...it's time for a life update! These past few months have been a whirl-wind of activities. I am now attending the University of Missouri, Kansas City School of Law after graduating from Pittsburg State University this May. My longtime boyfriend, Josh, and I are now engaged to be married this upcoming May of 2016! And, to top it all off, I survived my second year as the camp director at the wonderful Camp Re-NEW-All, and learned a heck of a lot more about myself and my faith while bringing the camp one step closer to my personal goals for it.

Now, the message for the day. As I mentioned earlier, there are bigots in this world who tried (and almost successfully) tore me down and away from writing about my faith. But as Jesus reminds us, prophets are rarely welcome in their own homes. Now, I am not calling myself a prophet in the sense that Isiah or St. John the Baptist was a prophet, but I am announcing the Good News, and as Catholics we are anointed prophets at our baptism, which means we are called in our own ways to be be Lights to the World. Below is the video that gave me final spark, and although he looks like kind of a goofy guy, Mr. Talbot has a really awesome (and brief!) message each day.

https://video.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xlp1/v/t42.1790-2/11946044_10155909037590335_1193738889_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjMwMCwicmxhIjo1MTJ9&rl=300&vabr=150&oh=23bee4ec35eb9d736206c3331cd08e59&oe=55E48216 

Happy Monday everyone!

Tota tua,

LeAnn